No, this isn’t a story of traveler’s diarrhea. It is a story of on line dating.
Never did I think I would sign up for one of those dating sites. As independent as I was, I never worried too much about finding a date. Boredom took over. Maybe I was spending way too much time drinking. I started to think about my options. Being in a small town, they were limited and somehow, one night, I made a profile.
If you plan on trying this, my advice would be: Have fun with it. Expect failure. Laugh at the situations you get yourself into! Keep trying. Eventually I found my husband:)
Here are a couple stories that kept my friends entertained during my online searches.
The worst had to be Mr. Joey’s Only. It was a school night and I had driven two hours. He picked the place. As soon as he stepped out of his mini van, I knew the pictures had been fake. Being a nice person, I followed him inside. Looks aren’t everything, but it was hard to keep a straight face. Across the table was a man wearing khaki pants that were too short, a tucked in collared shirt, a short leather jacket. He was missing a tooth and had a porn stache!
Even so, I ordered food instead of running. ( My mother did raise me with manners) He proceeded to prove that his quirky looks did NOT come with a brain. We argued over where my home town was located and he would not back down in his belief that snapper fish was really turtle tongue.
I ate. Ordered drinks. Chugged a couple down…and took my phone to the ladies room. This is when I text a couple friends, ” OMG. Fake pic. In the Can. Kill me now!!”
THEN! as the bill came, he reached for his wallet. Oh no, He had left it in the van. AS IF. All of this and I was going to have to pay?? I watched him run out to ” get” it. At this point I looked at the waitress and said, ” Never trust an online picture.” She burst out laughing and we had a good chuckle. Now, I don’t think I am anything special, but hair was perfect that day!
Luckily, he came in and paid. I said a quick thank you and ran to my car to call my mom!
# 2 on my funny stories would be the man who got arrested on our first date. ( What is with crazy jealous exes??) Short version, he had a few(3) friends over for supper, his teen daughter came home and got mad that he wouldn’t give her money, she ran to her mom’s and told her we were having a huge party. When the cops showed up and surrounded the house they were surprised to find 4 silent people eating spits and throwing shells into the fire. When they asked where the young child was, we pointed to the ten year old on the trampoline. They were made to believe a toddler was in danger. Because they had a past with child services, we all had to give statements and he was hauled of to jail!
None of this was his fault, I was there to see the whole thing, but obviously it wasn’t going to work out:)
Online dating can be an ego boost, but there are a lot of wackos out there. You have to talk to people. Weed out the weirdos. Don’t be afraid. Bad dates make for good learning experiences….or at least a good story!
My husband happened to live in the next town. He cooked a feast for me and we have barely been apart since the first day we met! If I had been scared to meet people, or given up after the liars, druggies, and “criminals”, I would have never made it to where I am today!
Do you have a bad date story??