Since today was my first day back with students, I thought I’d write a school themed post. We have many hilarious stories to tell, but for privacy reasons I won’t be sharing too many. My advice for teachers and parents is to write down these stories. It is easy to forget them, but they can sure make us smile:)
Some day I want to write a kid’s book. There I said it. It won’t happen soon, but after seeing some of the books that have crossed our paths, I am sure I can do it. They will publish ANYTHING!!
( We are a two roomed school and do not have a librarian to help us weed out books. We try hard, but can’t catch them all!)
Here are two funny examples:)
1) A couple years ago we were waiting for our parents to come over for a presentation. To kill time, I threw my aid a book and said,
” Here, read this to keep everyone calm.” What I heard come out her mouth/ the pages, had me needing to leave the classroom. I will never know how she did it with a straight face.
Intro: Hey, guys, how are your bananas hanging? ( This made me giggle and got a few snorts from the older boys.)
Being a book about monkeys in a banana tree forest, I thought nothing much of it….
Plot: A ONE EYED PINK monster scared of the two BIG, ROUND, FURRY, spiders.
That’s all I remember. I was pretending to clean a cupboard in the back, but shaking so hard from laughter that I had to leave the room!
To this day, I have NO idea how she read that book out loud. Luckily, the kids never caught on to more than the slight ” banana” haha.
Seriously, this got published as a children’s book? Kinda disgusting…but made for good staff giggles. We need to be on our toes!
2) This happened more recently. A series of alphabet books were pulled out to provide extra practice for a student. I sent it in a file to the library for my aid to work on…in addition to many activities focusing on the letter “N”.
That recess, she came to me with the, ” I am going to kill you,” look.
I could probably quote this book word for word. Imagine opening this to read to a child…and having to do it with a straight face.
Page 1:Nice Nuts. ( Peanuts are friendly and wearing smiles.)
Page 2. Naughty Nuts. ( OOOH. These peanuts are shown sticking their tongues out at each other.)
Page 3. Nasty Nuts. ( Now, they are kicking each other!)
Who got paid to write this? In a series for children?
I guess these served as a reminder for us. As parents and teachers we should be aware of what our kids are reading. There are wacko authors out there and some of the stuff they consider ” child” appropriate is pretty crazy. The two stories I shared could be chalked up to a perverted sense of humor, but I assure you that they are nothing compared to what is written in some books. I am in no way a ” stick in the mud,” and these two example made me laugh like a school boy, but please, just take a bit of time to ask your children what they are reading:)
Notice how I got that ” serious” lesson in there?
Have you had to quit any read alouds because of content??
That’s really funny. My intern this year was reading “Daniel’s Story,” by no means a funny book. However, one of my 13yr old boys thought the phrase “standing abreast” was so funny, he then whispered/questioned quite loudly “standing with boobs?” And then all I could do was shake with laughter as my poor intern was trying to read out loud in front of his faculty advisor. It was really funny and I ended up leaving the classroom.
🙂 poor intern! I yelled ” ok, everyone grab your balls.” In physics.ed….that got lots of laughs, too! There are so many stories!