I started this blog in January and in my first post I said that I had some issues I was dealing with and that I needed something positive to focus on.
That was right after my husband and I were denied court ordered visitation with my step children. Right after we drove to BC to get them and were stood up. Right after SHE accepted our e money transfer to help with gas money so she could get the kids to the meeting point, but didn’t come.
Then came Easter. No show.
It is now summer and she has played the system and somehow gotten our order changed in the BC courts, even though we were given NO chance/ warning/ papers to say we needed to be in court.
It has now been a year since we have seen the kids. A year of sadness, heartache, frustration. A year of feeling guilty for any fun we have. Guilty for every penny we spend on ourselves. My husband feels bad for dragging me through this and I feel helpless, even though I know he appreciates my support. I love those kids and him and wouldn’t be anywhere else. He has done nothing wrong except trust that she would come around eventually.
This blog has given me some opportunity to explore, but with that fun comes the sadness that our family should be planning adventures as a whole. Holiday visitation is not enough, but at least we could be having a blast on those small breaks.
The Canadian Family Law system is broken beyond belief. The Dad who pays full child support, is denied court ordered visits, and works for a living, can barely scrape by, let alone pay for a huge battle in court. Others, get legal aid and special consideration just because they have breasts and don’t work for a living.
Maintenance enforcement was created to go after money for some parents, but I believe there should visitation enforcement.
I understand that there are some ” crazy” people out there that children need to be protected from, but there are also super duper people who are being screwed over by the system. Most of all, the children are being hurt.
This past week I went on a sisters trip. It was awesome and I will write about it soon, but this is top on my mind. I got home just in time to support my husband when we received a call that a judge had made a ruling in her favor without us. She had the papers sent to my inlaws, two provinces over, after the fact. Our address has been the same for years.
Obviously they didn’t look into the case. There are soooo many reasons for them not to have ruled in her favor, that obviously were never brought up in this one sided case.
My summer of adventures has turned into a summer of not backing down. By deciding to be more public with our pain we have been given the gift of realizing how supportive, caring, and understanding people are.
We have reached out for help and received more than just financial support. WE have received love from people from all aspects of life. The kind words of support from people all over will continue to help us get through this.
I will continue to try to stay positive and to try to find adventure in the everyday things. We have spent thousands of dollars to fight for the kids rights, and we will spend thousands more. Even if means we eat Kraft Dinner for the rest of our lives.
I promise not to be too depressing on this blog, but wanted my readers to know what we are going through. Spread the word that our Family Law system needs to be fixed and that equal rights in parenting is important.
Here is a link we have created to help spread the word. We aren’t beggars, but when it comes to the kids, we have to swallow our pride.
Thank you to everyone who has been so generous with words and donations. We won’t forget it.
Hug your kids, put them first, suck it up and work with your ex.
Don’t be jealous of step parents, be happy that your children have an bonus person to love and support them.